Oh man, this #MotivationMonday comes free with a lot of passion and rage. I had a comment on my previous Motivation Monday video where a 13 year-old girl confessed that kids at school were telling her she is fat and to kill herself.
It broke my heart and made me sincerely angry. Angry that in 2016 humans are still speaking to one another that way. I dream of a world where little girls don’t have to take a verbal beating when they go to school. My little babies are just now getting into school, and I pray every day that their self-worth rings louder than any potential hateful things that await them in school. I talk more about this in the video, press play to watch.
Like I said in the video, I’ve decided it’s no longer enough to be nice, it’s no longer enough to just frown at these situations and say, “I would never!” Yes, we must be kind and loving ourselves! Absolutely! But we have to step up and stop tolerating hatred whenever we see it happening, as uncomfortable or awkward as it may be. Step outside your comfort zone, push down the fear, and speak the heck up. Disrupt, intervene, and dismiss anyone who is acting hatefully. Whether it’s little kids on the playground, or grown adults behaving shamefully, it’s about time we reject this unfortunate conduct.
I recently inducted a Zero Hatred Policy in my life. That goes for personal relationships, online interactions, and so on. If you’re not clear on what I mean by zero tolerance, here are some examples of immediate action I take when trolls come out to play:
// SCENARIO // When someone leaves a hateful/bullying comment about me, my family, friends, or AN.Y.ONE on any of my online profiles.
If you can’t be respectful, you don’t deserve to see the content I work to create, and you certainly aren’t invited to the 24/7 kindness party that’s happening on my feed. Plain and simple. I think people are all about getting their followers up, and they might feel afraid to start blocking people and downright rejecting not nice people, but I have found that I can certainly afford to lose as many followers as necessary to keep my space a toxic FREE environment. Could you imagine if everyone started deleting and blocking the meanies? I think they might actually get the hint to BE NICE, or at least there would be a lot less appalling comments on the internet.
It's none of my business what you think of me, go ahead and keep that thought to yourself, please and thank you!
// SCENARIO // Someone in my life intentionally tries to hurt me, my family, or friends, and so on.
// REACTION // Ummm, yah, we’re going to need to break up. It’s not me, it’s you. You seem to think it’s ok to be verbally degrading.
This is actually PAINFULLY difficult, but I have done it. I have had to break up with two really close friends in my lifetime, and more recently, a professional associate. Whether someone tries to casually throw you under the bus in hopes of making herself feel better, or she outright tries to bring you down, it’s time to cut her loose. Period. You get a friendship time-out until you learn that pushing other people down doesn’t make you higher—it ruins trust and relationships and puts you on the “do not hang out with” list. We have all had that friend who cleverly weaves a twisted compliment that leaves you feeling just Ew! Give yourself permission to swipe left.
// SCENARIO // You see someone else being mistreated and emotionally assaulted.
// REACTION // Speak up! Step in! Do something, anything!
You can confront the troll, or at the very least, distract the victim and abruptly walk her away from the situation. Give her a hug, show her a true reflection of what you see in her. Offer to stick around with her for the next day, week, or year until the troll moves on. If necessary, send the troll a link to this post—maybe he just needs an education.
The point is always MORE love and MORE kindness, but also, stop tolerating the crap. I think that’s the only way we will make progress.
I am Whippy Cake, and I approve of this message, and I also approve of you sharing this message because, let’s be honest, some peeps need to hear it!