Ok, so I think I mentioned that my One Little Word
, aka motto, for 2016 is “Nope,” and I have been wanting to write a quick post about it so that when you see me wearing a “Nope” shirt, or if you see me using the hash tag #nope16, you will know the meaning behind it.
I am a compulsive people-pleaser, which means I tend to say “yes” to everything because I don’t like disappointing people. Let me tell you the consequences of saying “yes” to everything:
Consequences of saying Yes
- mega super busy all the time
- so busy you can’t really do anything well
- when you say “yes” all the time, you have to sacrifice things you want
- if you say “yes” to someone once, she will always expect you to say “yes” the next time
- if you you do one job for free, people will expect you to work for free every time
- if you say “yes” to someone else, it almost always means you have to say “no” to someone else, like your kids or yourself
- if you say “yes” to everything, even the stuff that doesn’t excite you, there is usually not enough time to do the things you are passionate about
- if you say “NO,” people will still like you and respect you
So yah, this year, if it’s not a “HELL YES!” it’s a hard pass. Just in the first few weeks of January alone, I have already had to force myself to turn down things I normally would have said “yes” to. Saying “no” is not easy for me, but I feel more freedom and strength every time I push myself to turn down something that isn’t in line with my goals and expectations. It’s super challenging and uncomfortable, but I would rather be uncomfortable and progressing than stuck in the same place.
It's ok to say no
The second reason I chose the word “nope” is because I tend to have an extra loud dialogue playing on repeat in my head. It tells me when I didn’t do something good enough, when I don’t look right, how hard life is, how big my butt is, who doesn’t like me…you get the idea. I would be shocked if you didn’t have some sort of inner conversation taking place in your head at any given moment.
The thing about that negative inner dialogue is that when it gets so loud I can’t hear anything else, I can’t hear the truth, which is that I am doing my best, I strive to be a good person, I am blessed, I am beautiful, I am loved, and I am happy.
I chose my word this year to give myself permission to say “NOPE” to harmful influences, people, and behaviors in my life that keep me from feeling happy and confident. I say “NOPE” to negative comments online, to marketing and messaging that makes me feel worthless, to mom guilt and mom shaming, to my inner bully and self doubt.
It gives me permission to say “NOPE” to thoughts and influences that crush my confidence and cripple my self-esteem. It's ok to say no.
Saying “no” is ok—it’s actually pretty freaking amazing! I will totally let you use my word any time you want bc you know you probably need to say “no” too sometimes! In the photos, you can see I am already collecting shirts and paraphernalia that says “nope” on them so I can have little nope reminders everywhere, so if you see anything with the word “nope” on it, you better alert me asap! ?
How do you feel about this post? Are you brave enough to just say “no”? What’s your word for 2016?
PSSSSST! Pin this post to pinterest to spread this message.
Also, I know you know someone who needs to hear this. Pass it along to your people-pleasing, guilt-tripping, frustrated friends. They need to hear this too!
// WHAT I AM WEARING //
Curvy Fit Skinny Jeans // Target