Still can't believe it even as I type this but I am undeniably pregnant with our 4th child. Eeeeik! I seem to remember a little outbreak on my Facebook feed 2 months ago over a picture of me looking pregnant in a black dress only I wasn't pregnant and I certainly didn't think I would be anytime soon. Jokes on me!
I was for sure a little shell shocked when I saw the test with the word “pregnant” spelled out across the screen all permanent and definitive. I had to giggle a little as I held the test in one hand while I looked around the filthy Circle-K bathroom I was standing in. I gave myself 5 minutes to freak out and then I went home and pretended like nothing was any different while I put away the groceries. I didn't sleep for one second that night and then that next day I began a downward spiral into a hysterical panic attack.
I tried to plan a special and memorable way to tell the Boss his baby wish had come true but I ultimately decided that despite my efforts I wasn't doing a very good job of hiding the fact that I was whole-heartedly freaking out. I knew he would figure it out on his own sooner than later so I just asked him to meet me for lunch and told him in person.
He was wildly excited just as I had expected. I immediately felt peace after telling him. His excitement seemed to ease the anxiety I was feeling over all the unknown. I admittedly felt guilty for not being excited right away. That's actually an understatement, I was down right depressed. That must sound terrible to you but pregnancy for me is no picnic and I had been feeling overwhelmed by the 3 kids I already have, I just couldn't fathom parenting FOUR kids!
I allowed myself the remainder of the week to continue freaking out and wallowing in my dread and then I called my bestie and we put together an improv photoshoot so I could make an announcement to send to all of our family to surprise them with the news. Everyone was as surprised as we were of course and having all of their support has gotten me even more excited about our little bean.
I don't have a preference or a feeling about what the gender will be but Bret and our kids are desperate for a boy so I will be crossing my fingers and hoping for blue in the future. So far I am feeling pretty darn great and I will be working as much as I possibly can until the dreaded vomiting kicks in. Until then I will be praying for no vomiting at all (pray with me?). Wish me luck!
I'm just newly pregnant and am not due until October 2013! I know how fast rumors travel so I was wanting you all to hear the great news from me first!
Ps. Pregnancy comments are ok now 😉
photography by Ten22Studio