Here’s a little story, I know you’ve never heard. It’s a true story with a very happy ending.
Once upon a time there was a girl with a crooked eye. Her eye looks acceptable cosmetically and all but her vision is quite the opposite. For most of her life she was diagnosed incorrectly and given prescriptions for glasses but none of them have actually resolved her vision woes. Because the tension of the muscle in her right eye is tighter than the tension in her left eye her vision in that eye pulls inward therefore making it impossible for her eyes to work in unison to make one clear picture. Instead the things she sees are terribly confusing, blurry or double. The confusion of images relayed to her brain often leave her with painful headaches and an unhappy attitude. Not wanting to let her eye get the best of her she developed her own crutches to get by with the annoying nag of an eye. She discovered that closing one eye would alleviate the double vision so long as the right eye remained clamped shut. She also found that intense focused squinting would satiate bombarding and conflicting images her eyes send to her brain. In some circumstances (when no one is there to witness) she will even secure random articles of clothing and accessories over the handicapped eye in place of an eye patch (rrrgh matey!) to give her mind a break from the world of chaos her eyes propose together. After years of frustration the girl was referred to a specialist who unbeknown to her was about to change her life forever. She waited the long amount of time (10 weeks) for her turn to meet with the specialist, hoping but also not expecting too much out of the visit. After some blinding test and some uncomfortable treatments a new diagnosis was made. The doctor revealed that her circumstance was not permanent and that her vision could be restored by a perfectly safe operation. She was elated! She wanted to leap into the lap of the blessed man who bore her such fabulous news and kiss him on his bald head (at least she thinks he was bald, she couldn’t really see that well). Instead she said “Oh, how nice.” as she smiled to herself and ignored the terrified cries of the other patients being mauled by Kingston in the waiting room. The doctor was then replaced by his assistant who scheduled the girl’s operation. She left stunned and in awe that in just two weeks the plague of double vision will be lifted from her life and she will finally be able to do away with her makeshift eye patches and squinting faces. She is officially one HAPPY girl!
-yes, I just made a comic strip about my crooked eye.
- I think I should audition for a headache commercial. I felt like that picture was really believable.
- Rosette eye patches will be going on sale immediately.
- Just kidding on the part about selling eye patches, it’s just a glamour band. Haha